March 2011
Researching the Drug “Charlie Sheen” in a Medical Encyclopedia. →
vanityfair.com
“Charlie Sheen (charlibenzephetamine hydrocheendone) is a white crystalline powder. It is produced and sold under the names Charlie Sheen, Charlies, Carlos Estevez, Hernias, C.S., Chars, Battle-Tested Bayonets, CBS Gold, Sweeps, and Two and a Half Sins. Charlie Sheen is ingested orally (by applying to the gums), intravenously, through the nasal cavity, or by simply imagining one has ingested Charlie Sheen. Call your doctor at once if you have any of these serious side effects:
- Paranoia
- Late-onset anti-Semitism
- Increased sexual appetite
- Violent tendencies
- Incoherence
- Problems with coordination
- Uncontrollable urges to burn one’s bridges
- Delusions of grandeur
- Benign fasciculations, often described as a feeling of “magic and poetry in [their] fingertips””
—some characteristic Juli Weiner genius.
February 2011
CRAFTING
When you don’t have much to say
or you’re not sure how to say it
it can be easier to let your camera,
or your guitar,
or your paintbrush do the talking
and hope that somewhere between your open mouth
and your unsteady hand
words might emerge
that make perfect sense
to all the right people
and just in the nick of time.
Vanilla Poltergeist Snake
Glassjaw
YESSSS, new glassjaw
